In May we lost one of our sweet kitties very suddenly. I think it’s possible she just didn’t want to move again. I could hardly blame her. Moving is horrible.
But once we were in the house and the boxes were mostly under control, we adopted a new cat. The thinking was, wouldn’t she settle faster if we brought her in before my existing cat had the territory all staked out. This turned out to be a terrible decision. Live and learn. Only adopt a new cat when you are comfortable, relaxed, and settled.
It didn’t help that our new darling was a rescue, and ‘ready for a permanent home’ meant something different to her foster mom than it did to me.
At first I established her in a private suite. The guest room had a futon for sleeping on, a litter box in one corner, a food station well away from it, and some toys and a scratching post on the rug. After 10 days when she wouldn’t come out from under the futon and was visibly not eating, I called the rescue in a panic.
So we moved her to a tiny efficiency apartment in my closet. It’s a big closet. She did a lot better and we got to know each other. There were a lot of litter box incidents. She’s incontinent when terrified. There were issues with the existing cat. Which I really didn’t expect. She’s usually so laid back. I think she’d have been better off if we’d waited a while.
But now, 3 months later, she’s happily sleeping in the sun in my office. We’re all friends now.
I can see the lesson in this. Things take as long as they take. You can’t force it, and pretending things are different than they are is not good for anyone. You can’t rush it. You just have to go along as best you can and put the effort in every day until you get the result you’re looking for. And really, you might not ever get the result you’re looking for. You might just get something else entirely. If you let go of your expectations, you can learn to love it.
Worry less about what you think it should be. Enjoy what it is.