It only matters what works for you.

Enough with the shaming.

I was reading this article about fat stereotypes online the other day and when I got to the part about fat shaming my head nearly exploded so I thought it deserved its own post.

The free dictionary defines shame like this:




1. a. A painful emotion caused by the awareness of having done something wrong or foolish: felt shame for cheating on the exam.

b. Respect for propriety or morality: Have you no shame?
c. Psychiatry A pervasive, negative emotional state, usually originating in childhood, marked by chronic self-reproach and a sense of personal failure.
So, we’re talking about being foolish and wrong, a lack of respect for propriety, and instilling chronic self-reproach in people who don’t fit the society size norm.
And some people feel this is a good idea. The argument is always ‘well, if it helps people lose weight’.
It doesn’t. And to be perfectly honest, I don’t think anyone actually thinks that it does. I think that argument is self serving for the many, many people who like to be self righteous and smug suggesting that those who are fat are intentionally doing something bad and consciously making a choice to do something that hurts others.
Which is utterly ridiculous.
I will accept that fat hurts society when the government stops pimping for the grain industry and the diet industry and suggesting that we continue to eat in the way that has caused the population to gain weight every year that it’s been the recommendation, and yet is ‘backed by science’. Also when they come up with a solution that doesn’t involve disconnecting the intestines and that has a better than 5% success rate.
All fat shaming does is make people hate them selves. Feel overwhelming shame that we’re BAD. And it reinforces the idea that we’re somehow doing this to ourselves on purpose.
Of course there are plenty of people who got on the scale January 2 and realized that they’ve gained 10 lbs since Thanksgiving. They all resolved to go to the gym for 8 weeks, eat salads for the first month, and by spring break they’ll all be back to their bikini best.
But none of those people are the ones who get fat-shamed. The ones who get ostracized are those those who need to lose 2 and more sizes and I promise you, the number of those people who are a) unaware of their socially undesirable status and b) who haven’t already tried to do something is zero.
Even worse, our society has made fat shaming completely acceptable and that makes life for fat children hell on earth.

Comments on: "Enough with the shaming." (4)

  1. Do you hear me standing and giving you a standing ovation? I hope so.

    • Thanks Deborah, I’m glad it spoke to you.
      It makes me so angry, when people who aren’t equipped to understand a problem get all self righteous about their idea of a solution, whether it be fat shaming or homelessness or really anything that people get in your face about. Because, I already know I’m a social outcast, thank you so much for rubbing it in.

      • Rubbing it in? I hope you mean that tongue-in-check. Sick people are shamed as well. We’re called lazy and hypochondriacs. I’m an outcast on all counts. The ones who shame us are not strong enough to deal with what we have to live with every minute of every day. Yes, enough is enough, but some prejudices never change.

      • Whoops. I meant that rubbing it in comment for the nameless shamers, not anyone here. Outcast for sick is shamed every bit as much, especially since “you don’t look sick” as if it were impossible to have a condition that isn’t invisible.

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