It only matters what works for you.

Lessons of beauty.

Today I read an amazing and insightful article from a friend about how being fat set her free to be the person she wanted to be rather than the person she felt she should be.

Society has taught us that how we look is the most important thing. There was this interesting campaign from Dove recently, followed by this even more interesting response to it. I wrote this blog about supermodel Cameron Russel’s excellent TED on winning the genetic lottery and how it has changed her life. No matter how we fight it, that is our current reality.

It reminded me of an insightful lesson that another friend and I shared from opposite sides of the picture.

This friend is smart and fun and beautiful. I am also smart and fun. Whether I would describe myself as beautiful depends on the day. Conditioning runs deep, and that is the message that we found.

This is what my friend and I discussed, while waiting for a metro train.

Nothing I will ever do will be quite good enough, because I am not pretty. (Lets face it, personal preferences aside, Society has decided that in 2013, fat isn’t pretty. You can argue all you want. That is reality.)

My friend has the same problem from the other side.

Nothing she ever does will be as important as the way she looks.

It was really special for both of us to have someone to share the horrible truth with, and it was extremely enlightening to share our dismay, our fatigue, our distress, at the current situation.

What we didn’t know, couldn’t find, is how on earth can we change this?

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Comments on: "Lessons of beauty." (1)

  1. It’s been interesting for me, because I’ve been on both sides of this coin. When I was young and thin, I was quite attractive (even modeled a bit). It always drove me nuts that people never looked any deeper than the surface. I had no idea I was intelligent until recently – go figure. Since I got fat, I’ve been on the other side where, in many ways, people treat you like a non-person and you feel you have to explain yourself. Neither way feels good, and that is a sad commentary on our society. How do we change it? By refusing to form first impressions based on looks, I guess. We can only affect our own attitudes and maybe lead by example. It’s what I choose – and I choose to no longer let what others think of me affect me in either direction. You are smart, funny and insightful, among many other superlatives. Looks fade, but those things are forever. 🙂

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