I hate those days when you suddenly realize you lack trust in a very fundamental piece of your world.
Back in March I posted about having a sudden swelling in my legs. Very, very uncomfortable. I assumed it was caused by my diet and the post-move weight I’d gained. So I went on round 1 of HCG.
Once I finished that round of HCG the swelling came back, but not quite as bad. I did a bunch of research online. I read things. I asked questions. I talked to people I know on health forums. I got a good idea of a possible cause and took a supplement that would help if I was right but not hurt if I was wrong. I just lived with it.
Then I did round 2 of HCG and finally, finally all the swelling was gone. And it stayed gone for a few weeks. Then it started again. So I did some more research and followed up leads from before and worked out an additional treatment I could manage myself that I hoped would work.
What didn’t I do?
I didn’t go see a doctor.
I didn’t go see a doctor because I automatically assumed that they couldn’t help me.
Because my 40+ years of experience with the American medical system has taught me that:
- Everything will immediately be blamed on my weight
- A diet will be the first thing recommended as a solution
- The tests that might find a problem are unlikely to be ordered
- If it doesn’t come with a drug solution, I won’t get a helpful answer
- If it doesn’t look like a common problem, I won’t even get helpful questions
Those are all the assumptions I realized I have been working under. Now that I’ve realized them, I also realize that they may not be true, and they certainly aren’t true for all doctors. I know I have options and can look for a doctor who can work outside the box which is where my entire medical history resides. I even have someone in mind to call for an appointment.
But the real point I want to convey is
I never even considered going to see a doctor about the problem.
It never even once crossed my mind.
I don’t think I can even tell you how much it upsets me to realize that my experiences with the medical system have conditioned me to believe unquestioningly that there is no point in even asking, I will not get the help I need.