I haven’t been posting regularly for a few weeks.
We don’t talk much about grief in this country. Or much in the western world really. We only seem to want things that are happy and easy. Grief has to hide in the closet.
I don’t know how we got to this point. We used to have grief rituals. Wearing black, receiving visits, certain behaviors that would give visual expression and allow our community to know we were in a grief process so they could offer support. Now the best you can really do is make a post to facebook. Perhaps your church community will bring you a freezer full of meals if it was a close family member.
Nothing helps us understand how to adjust to a dramatic world shift.
Is this because of modern medicine? I wonder. Everything is about quick fixes and extending life as far as possible. I have heard it said more than once that the medical community views death as a failure. Is that why its been shuffled to the side?
Maybe I’m just feeling a little bitter because I’ve personally felt isolated and its not like that for others.
Since my training doesn’t really include how to manage grief, I’m just muddling through as best I can. Society seems to prefer that we just get on with life and feel better. I’m sorry, but I can’t do that. I’m trying to rest, and think, and actually allow myself the grief that I feel. In the long run I think that will work out better, but I really have no idea. I’ve never actually seen it done. Which I think is sad.
Actually, 2 very significant deaths happened within a week of each other. How’s that for not fun?